How to play Shithead
2–4 players · one standard deck · no mercy
Pub game, pure spite. Nine cards each, one pile in the middle, and one poor bastard left holding cards at the end. Take five minutes on this and you’ll be stitching up ya mates by the second hand.
Get rid of ya cards
Nine cards each. First to dump the lot walks away clean. Last mug still clutching cards is the shithead — and deals the next round while everyone reminds them.
Three down, three up, three in hand
Before the deal locks in you get one shot at a swap: trade anything in your hand for your face-ups. Big cards on show, rubbish in hand — that’s the play.
Can’t beat it, ya eat it
No legal card means the whole pile goes into your hand. That’s the entire game — dodge the pile, hand it to someone else, keep a magic card back for when it gets ugly.
Your three stacks
You play them in order. Hand first, then the face-ups, then the blind ones — and you can’t touch the next lot until the one before is gone.
-
In ya hand
Three cards only you can see. Play one (or a few of the same rank), then top back up to three while the deck lasts.
PLAY THESE FIRST -
Face up
Three on the table, showing. Once your hand and the deck are gone, these are what you’re playing — so keep the big ones up here.
EVERYONE SEES THESE -
Face down
Three blind cards. You flip one and play it sight unseen. Beat the pile and you’re laughing. Don’t, and the pile’s yours.
PURE LUCK
A turn, in four beats
-
Beat the top card
Equal or higher than whatever’s showing on the pile. Same rank is fine — and you can lay two, three or four of a rank at once.
-
Top back up
Draw until you’ve got three in hand again, as long as the deck holds out. After that you’re on what you’ve got.
-
Or swallow the pile
Nothing legal to play? The whole pile goes into your hand and play moves on. Brutal, and entirely your problem.
-
Magic gets ya out
A 2, 3 or 10 can go down on anything at all. That’s your escape hatch — don’t burn it early.
The cards that bend the rules
Magic cards go down on anything, whatever’s showing. Special cards still have to beat the pile — they just make the next poor sod’s life harder.
-
2♥
RESET
Back to zero
Goes on any card. Wipes the pile’s value — the next player can follow with absolutely anything.
-
3♠
CLONE
Copies what’s under it
Goes on any card and becomes it. Drop a 3 on a King and the next mug still has to beat a King.
-
10♦
BURN
Torches the pile
Goes on any card. The whole pile leaves the table for good and you play again on a clean slate.
-
7♣
CAP
Next one goes lower
Has to go on a 7 or lower. The player after you must play a 7 or under — or pick the lot up.
-
8♠
SKIP
Next mug misses out
Has to go on an 8 or lower. Skips the next player entirely. House rule — can be switched off in the lobby.
-
4×♣
BURN
Four of a kind
Four of the same rank in a row — in one go or built up by the table — burns the pile. Whoever laid the fourth plays again.
The snatch
Four of the same rank in a row burns the pile — and it doesn’t have to be one player. If the pile’s showing three Kings and you’re holding the fourth, slap it down out of turn. Pile burns, the go is yours. Once your hand’s empty it works off your face-up cards the same way — but never off the blind row, since nobody knows what’s under there.
Be quick. Once the next card lands the chain’s broken and you’ve missed it. In game the app glows your cards when you’ve got a shot — switch the hints off in settings if you’d rather earn it.
Down to the last three
-
Hand empty, deck empty
Once the deck’s run dry and your hand’s gone, you move onto your face-up cards. Same rules, no top-ups.
-
Then the blind three
Face-ups gone? Tap a face-down and it plays as it lands. Beats the pile, it stays. Doesn’t, and you take the pile and keep going.
-
All nine gone — you’re out
Clear all three stacks and you’re safe, out of the round, and free to heckle. Everyone else plays on for the wooden spoon.
Everyone finishes except one. That one’s the shithead. They deal — and they wear it ’til next round.
Table talk
- Shithead
- Last player still holding cards. Deals next round, cops it all round.
- Burn
- The pile leaves the table for good. A 10 or four of a kind does it.
- Snatch
- Slapping down the fourth of a rank out of turn to burn the pile and steal the go.
- Magic
- 2, 3 and 10. Legal on any card, whatever’s showing.
- Cap
- What a 7 does — the next player is forced to go lower.
- The swap
- Your one chance before the deal locks in to trade hand cards for face-ups.
That’s the lot. Go lose some dignity.
Have a hit against the bots ’til it clicks, then drag ya mates in with a room code.
Deal me inHouse rules can be switched about in the lobby — eights, blind deck, pre-deal and all that.